The next week, after school, I was discussing daily and deep life issues with two of my co-teachers. I told them about my experience, with the phantom song. Neither of them looked fazed by my craziness. In fact, the one nodded at me with a sweet smile on her face.
“What was the song?” she asked gently.
“Well, I don’t remember the title right now, but this is the last verse,” and I sang for her in a tentative voice, as she came across the room.
“I will not boast in anything,
No gifts, no power, no wisdom;
But I will boast in Jesus Christ,
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer;
But this I know with all my heart –
His wounds have paid my ransom.”–S. Townend
Eyes shining, she compassionately looked at me, nodded again and said, “That’s what I see in your life.”
And can you believe it? I cried.
I’d hoped. I’d hung on in faith. I’d counted blessings, when happiness was hard to feel. I’d chosen to trust that the milling God is putting me through– the conflict of heart, the trials of relationships, the sheer exhaustion–is for my good. Some days I’ve wondered, if I learned anything.
I’d looked at all I was good at and every blessing and wondered why I had to be given all this. How could I possibly invest it all as He would want?
Too often, I forget that the best fruit has been ripened slowly by the Son.
Maybe I cry easy, but I won’t apologize. For when God speaks, who can remain unmoved?
Are you listening?