I know that we all have days of darkness, days when faithfulness is all you can muster. When you know God loves you but can’t feel it. When you know what needs to be done, but there is no happiness in the doing.
I have recently come out of such a season. Herein lies the hope. It is just a season, and you will come through better than before the dark. You will have more to give.
This one is for Elaine G., a response to whether or not I had a nature poem for you to read. Your willingness to read and kindly, constructively criticize is as invaluable as your friendship. Thank you.
Ps. If this one needs work, feel free to edit it too!
When I last past, your twisted, ancient arms,
Benevolently offered spheres of golden charms,
Orbs blushing from the simple secret sweets,
Pluck quick! Break skin and eat.
And now I pass you gnarly, blackened height,
Stark on ash sky, you offer but a bony sight.
A soul, a seed, a chrysalis awaits,
Exterior darkened–yet–dare I anticipate
Life breaking forth, wings flitting high and free,
Bright blooms sweet soul in me?
Without dread death and seasons dark and tight,
Would I make good God’s offer–birth to giver’s right?
01/16/16–Y. M. L.
It has a dash. My word processor is not very co-operative.
Ah. Well, that helps to clarify that line. I wasn’t quite sure what offer-birth meant, but offer–birth does make quite good sense. Sorry for being so difficult 😛 I really do like “The Offer,” especially now that I understand that last verse. Keep up the great work!
This is a lovely poem, and it eloquently shares the paradox of life and death. Often without death, there is no life, and the people most alive are usually those who have suffered much. I enjoy poetry, but I am in now way very good at analysing and understanding it. I struggle a bit to understand the last line of the last verse. Do you care to elucidate?
I will try to explain. 🙂 This is the line I agonized over the most. Other drafts included things like “born to joyous life” or “born to life and light.” However, the idea I want to convey is that when the rebirth happens in us, we have something to give. A seed that dies and springs to life gives beauty as a flower. An apple tree that goes through a winter bares fruit in the summer. Our coming to life or growth should cause us to reach out and benefit others. Does that make sense?
Yes, that does make sense, and I think you’re absolutely right. When we experience a coming to life or growth, then that growth becomes stunted if we don’t reach out and give to others. The only other question I have is if “offer-birth” has a hyphen or a dash.